hey..okay today was so uneventful..uumm..i got a loan for college..only 3000 dollars..yeah..thats gonna haunt me later on when i get out..but yeah i woke up at like 12 and watched TV talked on the phone..thought i was going to church..thought i was going to confession..took a nap..and woke up and changed my screen name..hahaha..i didnt really change it..i kinda just tweaked it..but i dunno if im gonna keep it..im really unimaginitive when it comes to these sns..and like ive had some retarded ones..like 'i dream of teeny'..and 'xtrasugarfreegum'..and all those fun ones..but i didnt like my last one..so yea..haha its exactly the same format as my old one..if you have an idea of what sn i should have please tell me..cause i cant think of one..

okay i hekka forgot to mention that when we were in the park i was doing flips on the 2 little hanging swinging things that you can go across on..not bars..but RINGS!!! yeah i was using them to do flips..and i only used one leg..my weaker left leg..and i hekka strained it lie not my gastronemius..but like..the superior part of the soleus on my left leg..stupid thing..and it HEKKA hurts..its sad really..i need to stretch more..or get stronger..cause im hekka weak..but haha my dad was like..quit complaining..

dude okay hella fun filled day..uumm..well lets start with yesterday..uumm..NOTHING..okay so today..haha it started out with me bringing maryann to school and then when i got home i felt hella fat so i worked out..20 min of pilates..and then some of my own stretching and stuff..im hella stretching cause its so hot and my muscles and tendons are loser in the heat..then after i felt hella skinnier..then i ate lasagna..and i was back where i started from..then i picked maryann up..then i had to pack stuff to send my sister in military camp..my mom got hella mad and yelled at us cause no one was washing the dishes (its maryanns day today) and so she was hella making me cry and like..'YOU DONT CARE WHETHER YOUR DAD AND I GET A DIVORCE..GO AHEAD AND FIGHT AND POINT FINGERS KEEP ARGUING..YOU'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS..WE DO SO MUCH FOR YOU AND YOU CANT DO ANYTHING YOU SPOLIED BRATS LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING' and so on..so i was hekka mad and i didnt want to cry but i wanted to yell..its like..i think youve played that card on me too many times..it still hurts and i still wanna cry and hurt stuff and yell and scream..'YOU WONDER WHY THE FUCK IM SO MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY ITS BECAUSE YOU HELLA GUILT TRIP US AND YELL AT US HELLA RANDOMLY' whatever its her problem..so i hella was pissed off and i went to the post office to deliver the box and i dropped christina off at her job interview..then i went to go get gas..okay i pull in and park and so does this silver car with these 2 guys in it..we both walk up and pay and then we go fill up our cars..yenno when you can feel people stare at you? well they were hella staring..i guess i did just wake up..but i changed but whatever..and they were like 'hey there girl' and i just smiled..then they finished and while they were driving away they stopped and were like..hey there see you later girl' and i hekka smiled and waved and rolled my eyes cause they were stooges..hahaha..then i went home took a shower and went to pick christina up..then we went almost EVERYWHERE...and the game of thats your boyfriend began..where did we start..uumm..we went to tapioca express aka asian central..but we were there before the rush of people..and these people came in these 2 cars and were hekka matching in cars..hah it was sad..then we went to target to stake out the cute cashier guy who i hella jocked hella days ago..and what else..then we went to look at the DVDs and the toys..and i saw this doll that looked like it was 'retarded' OO then we saw this cute guy..but one of the rules of the game is they cant have a girl with them..and this guy did..he looked our age..maybe like 19..and i was like damnit..he has a girl..i cant say it..but he was cute..but his gurl was hella pregnant..hahaha..we were making fun of them..it was funny..i guess..then christina went back to babies r us so she could get her job..cause she got the job..it was cool!..hahah..then we left..then christina had to go to the bathroom..so we went to jolliebee damnit i cant spell it..oh well..and we didnt buy anything but when we were going inside it said pull..and the door didnt open..and these guys were hella looking at us and we were like..okay..and i was hella embarassed..so we used the other doors..then we went to the bathroom and we were hella laughing cause christina jammed her back into the paper towel holder hahah..she said it hurt..then we went to cabello to fly the kite and we did..but there was a soccer game..so we went to play on the swings..we were facing different ways..i was facing the parking lot and she was facing the field..and the these guys were walking to their car and i was like..christina..its your boyfriends..and they were hella looking at me..i mean im 17 and i was on swings..and my hair was down..so it was crazy..i was going hekka high too..and they're like hey!! and hella looking and i was ljust smiling and swinging and then at their car they were waving to me..so i waved back..its only polite..and then we went to go put the kite back and they drove by us and stopped and honked and said hi again..hahaha..then we went on the teeter totter.. its in the kinder park..and christina was like..AAHHH..im not wearing a sports bra..haha..cause you hella shake on it..and we stayed for like 20 min on it..then we went to lake elizabeth..and we chased a goose..but then it went to its family..and they thought we had food..and THEY started chasing us..hahah.. then we walked to the stream and we watched ducks and hekka ghetto guys all pimped out trying to cross a bridge of rocks..i prayed that they would slip..but alas..they didnt..so we saw these ducks swimming and then these people were feeding them and they gave us bread to feed them..how nice..then as we fed them we noticed all the people walking and jogging and biking across the bridge..and we decided next time we would bring a fishing line so people would trip..haha..and it would be hella funny..and we saw these girls hella dressed up for a picnic at lake elizabeth..hella in heels and dresses! and they were putting on makeup..LOSERS..whatever..and the girl in hella high plastic heels and a dress hekka tripped and i laughed..cause i heard her trip..ahahah..it was hekka funny..then we got pizza..and went back to cabello to eat it..and we bumped the music cause we're cool and then we went to christina's and drank soda..then i went home..and fought with my sister over who gets the fan..haha and yay..it was a fun fun day!

as i type these words saddness fills my heart..let me set up the scene..im sitting at the computer..listening to 'shes leaving home' by the beatles..and so many things in the world are going wrong..so many things in my world are going wrong..two of my sister best friends were sent away to iraq..i know like everything..the war has stopped and whatever..but like you hear on the news everyday about more people dying and being killed and whatever..my sister is away at military camp and she tries to call when she can but yeah..its sad..my sister was telling me about how she threw live grenades and got put into a gas chamber and she was there for like 30 seconds by it felt like 10 minutes..shes trainning to kill people..and in one year they could send her out there..and her friends went..and now what..i cant lose my sister..god..everyone is stupid why cant you fucking international idiots get along..children do it..but no..you idiots cant..gosh..learn to fucking compromise..the world is a fucked up enough place because of the decisions of only a few..argh it makes me so mad..

oh what else..uumm..if im mad at you..dont set yourself up for me to say mean things to you..cause it hurts you..and its stupid..cause that was by far the STUPIDEST CONVERSATION IVE EVER HAD WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING..and ive had a lot of them..

hahha today was hekka dekka fun..okay..what did i do..uumm..i woke up and ate lucky charms..haha and i had like 2 bowls of it..and what else then i talked on the phone and whatever..oh the other day..yesterday..i talked to mandy on the phone..oh how i miss her..i wish she'd come back already..so we can go buy pizza and go to the beach and talk and have fun..cause well..lets just say we both need a break..so yeah..i talked on the phone..and i ate grapes..and then i went to the park with jaena..we're so not savage anymore..we couldnt even last on the teeter totter or making relay races..hahaha..we're so sad...so we decided to go to the park 3 times a week for an hour to go out and play..cause we used to do it everyday..but then we got lives..HAHAH..well she did..i got nothing..and yeah so at the park there were like soccer people..and they took up the field so we didnt get to fly 'heather' the butterfly kite..haha but we did cause we wanted to..and then all these kids running for soccer tripped over the string..HAHAH..stupid kids..haha..they were like..aahh..ahaha then i went into the middle of the field to get away from them..then i was trying to roll up the string and then i saw these shadows..and then..and then..a pack of soccer children came at me..kicking their soccer balls..AAHHH..it was so funny..i got hekka scared so i rolled up into the fetal position on the grass and rocked back and forth..it was HEKKA funny..hehehe..dude they were stampeding me..and we only lasted like..45 min in the park..gotta keep working on at least 2 hours..cause we used to spend days at the park..haha..we went to the kinder park and went the teeter totter and it was crazy hahaha..cause we all take turns pushing the thing..and its hard to stay on cause its made for like..little kids..so we're hella bouncing and crap..oh gosh it was so funny..and and..what else then when we first got there we went on the swings for a long time..and thats about the only thing we can still handle..hahaha..and we were on them and these 2 gurls came and were like..sitting there watching us..so we gave them the swings after like 15 min..hahaha..but first when we first got there jaena saw her ex-boyfriend tam and his friends who 'hollah' at us when we go jogging..and they were like playing cards or something..haha..and it was great and we were like..must not look over there or else feel embarassed..hahaha..so yeah..and we were all dressed for park playing..i was inna tank and shorts so was mary ann and jeane was wearing sweats and a tank..so we were in park gear..and we all looked like crap..cause yeah..we're playing in the damn park..but i do care what people think..because they're people..and i dont like it when people judge me by how i look so i care about what people think..cause i judge too..so there..i care about what people think about me..i cant help it..im just as bad..hahaha..so yeah..and now im watching my wife and kids and george lopez..hella funny shows..i cant wait until ALIAS comes back on..but i'll be at college..who cares..no i do!! i love that show..its so great..okay..buy

what can i say..read the others blogs if you wanna read about the beach..it was fun and great..but yeah.. uumm..i got my pictures back from grad night..i look terrible as expected..haha..god i can never look good in pictures unless its of me for swimming..and those are from like far away..whateva..we had a club hang out day..more like a club hang over..from the fun at the beach..hahha..uumm..i talked to mandy..god i miss her!! IF YOU'RE READING THIS MANDY I MISS YOU LOADS!! and i understand what you're going through completely..(our lives are completely parallel i swear) but only we know it..we dont talk about our shit and tell..we're cool like that..and i talked to antony on the phone a couple times..i also saw him today and he got punished for making me feel oh so bad..talking about breaking up and making me feel bad..but he got his..hahaha..it wasnt that bad..oh..speaking of sad..dude..i knew i was sad when i did the whole friendster thing..but then i found my ol' buddy jaime was a member..and it made me feel better hahaha..so i sent him a message and hopefully we'll kick it..he hella looks the same..and for those of you who know him..hes cute..hahah..its only cause ive known him since i was like 9 can i say that and not be in complete love with him..haha..i think we've run our course..shoot i think the course is hella far back there..i cant even see the course..yet i remember it oh so well..hahaha..but yeah..enough..i miss christina..we're gonna hang out on friday though..hahaha..so yay for us..we even have stuff to do all planned out..like going to tapioca express..and stake out my cute ex-crushes at target..and finally pour vinegar and baking soda on ants..hahah..its great..fun times with christina..we've been buddies since we were like 4..cant touch that fool..haha..we've had the best times ever..shes one of the bestest friends..it started out as me and her and pam..then me and her and frederick..but who cares..fuck off..hahaha..things happen..you take the bad with the worse..i mean the good..hahaha..i need to hang out with my friends i didnt hang out with before..cause im gonna miss them when i go away..i mean of course i'll miss the club..but we'll always be together..and yeah..i cant wait to hang out with christina..god i wish people would mind their own DAMN BUSINESS..im pretty sure whatever you hear is not the truth..so dont ask me..cause i'll just lie to you..just give it up cause youre never gonna find out about what they told me..so stop asking people..hahahaha..just ask your 'etam'

so yeah today i went to church and went to go see antony and surprise him at the bake sale thing.. and it was fun..i hung out for awhile..hahaha today is our one month ann..but i was like..psshh..one month..thats like..whatever..hahaha so yeah i made that excuse..then krystle saw something..and i guess i had to tell antony about it..and i didnt cry..well at least not in front of him..ive been bombarding him with enough of my problems..boy he sure picked a winner..im so broken..but he was nice about it..i mean he didnt get all like..eerr-ed or mad..or say im stupid and dump me on the spot like other guys did..well technically we werent going out so i didnt get dumped..just hurt..but yeah..i guess i told him my big secret..well half of it..but yeah..so that was fun..and on the way home i was bawling my eyes out..very dangerous driving and crying..but i do it a lot..im so good at it..but i didnt have sunglasses this time..i usually do..i think i was dying when i was crying cause i seriously thought i wouldnt have a boyfriend when i got home and he actually thought about what i had said..but im sure he just hasnt thought it through..i guess im hella just setting myself up for pain and whatever because it usually happens..but ive had enough problems in my life..and this one isnt that big in comparison to others..but yeah..on a happier note..blah..

hhmm..what happened today..i woke up to a phone call from antony..i was like..trying to sound awake..but not too awake..but a little awake..then i cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom..then i took a long-ass nap..then i woke up at 1 something in the afternoon cause antony called again to see what i was up to..but then he had to go and pick up rocks from his backyard..hahaha..then i got ready to go to a christening..at todai..hahah..hella food..i was eating for lik..4 hours..mmm..hella sushi and food and desserts and food..hahaha..and then we drove home..and here i am..doing nothing..oh..hahah..the party favors were these snow globes and like it was at the edge of the table with maryann and this little boy came over and knocked it over..and we were like..okay..and so maryann put it on the other side of her..and then i was hella laughing cause it was so damn random..so i pretended to re-enact the scene..and i knocked it over..and i broke it..i was hella cracking up..then me and mary ann were so bored we decided to shoot spit balls at eachother through straws even though we were sitting 2 feet away from eachother..hahaha..so as we were blocking and sending the gross spit balls i happened to get a lucky shot and get her on the forehead...hahaha..you could hear it go *SMACK/SQUISH* as it hit her forehead..i was so scared and laughing a lot..so i went to the next table..hahah even my dad was laughing..so i stayed there for protection..but then i came back and she got me in the eye..that hurt..haha..but i guess i deserved it..but she started it..thats it..nothing else..okay uumm bye!