*sigh* i am tired. first day at my new place. the lady there is really nice and has the coolest accent. and when she says something..she always goes, or as they say in france, or in french, and then she proceeds to say it in french, or how they say it in france. =). wow. it was easy..HELLA easy. but i wont get too confident. she invited me to do their workshop, but she invites everyone..so i dunno. =) but im excited about how its all goin. definetely quitting cheer if i cant get thursdays off...crazy crazy schedule..cant do it. nope. cant do it. im not getting paid to cheer, nor am i paying to cheer. i dont even know the basketball players, nor do they know me. nor do they care to know me, nor do i care if they care or if they know me. and i dont feel very appreciated. they appreciate the people they know. and that doesnt include me. and they only way some cheer people know basketball people is through parties and classes and friends. since none of the basketball players are nursing majors, that kicks off classes and through mutual friends. and everyone knows i dont party. so basically i feel like i do a thankless job where i try so hard, and they dont give a damn. whateva...
but today was fun..regina and i cut micro..hahah..THE BREAK WAS A SIGN TO CUT CLASS!!! she never gives us breaks..hahah. then i took a 2 hour nap..*sigh* t'was heavenly. haha. then we went to lunch and patho..geez..thats one hard class. im glad that i suck in all my classes. its all those damn quizzes. but oh well..i TRY to study..no i dont..=) im not gonna lie. i dont try to study haha. but i do..wait..no i dont do anything. i really just sleep. its quite amazing the amount of sleep i get. =) but yeah nothing else interesting happened..and since i didnt eat dinner im starved..so time to eat chips!! woot. the main staple of my new college diet..=)

i dont want an apology from you or your excuses for him. you should have to apologize for him, and you should be making excuses. its not your job. if he wants to apologize then fine, but i dont even want that from him if thats how he feels about me or whatever. he can have his opinions as i do. he can hate me and i dont really care. i...respect...the fact that he has opinions, wrong or right, he can have them. he doesnt need to apologize, and he doesnt have ANY excuses for what he said about me and my relationship. dont defend him from me. cause its really not gonna do anything....

im really sorry that youre hurt regina, and i didnt mean it to come out like that. but it was 3 am..and it all just came out. but i love you and i care about you. and i get frustrated a lot. but i dunno. it really is how i feel. and im sorry i feel this way. but it do. and it came out all harsh. and i dunno what i can do about it. but im over it. and i duno. lets all just move on. and i really am glad you dont cry anymore. and that things are better and everything. im really glad that you guys are okay. i dunno. but i care about you a whole whole lot more than i even think about him. but you do know i love you. and will always be there. even though i said what i said...

woot!! very productive weekend..well until about 5:00pm on friday when the love of my life and the reason for my existence came over for the weekend. i love that guy. yenno? he makes me happy.. =) but don't tell him that. he might get all concieted and whatever..haha..its okay though cause lord knows i tell him enough..shoot. but yeah what else happened:

friday:
i dont remember what i did this day..i think i cleaned..oh..at 7AM i ran 3 miles with the cheerleaders..it took us 25 minutes..and i swear i almost died..haha like 4 times along the way. but im surprised..i only walked for a little bit of it. i am woman..hear me gasp for my inhaler!! haha nice..well..yeah i knew we were running so i had my inhaler and i took it a couple times during the run..okay maybe 3 times..but i think i completely needed it..then i went to breakfast with the girls..nice nice time talking..then i watched TV (XENA THE WARRIOR PRINCESS!!!) haha while i stretched out my impossibly sore sore body. i talked ot greg while stretching and i was laughing so hard cause i was in PAIN!!! then i took a nap and took a shower to get ready for the volleyball game. and i went and got a t-shirt. and i decided i would give it to greg. then i went to jen's room to talk and visit with them. we watched blue collar comedy tour..HILARIOUS. omg..then we had jack in the box it was good. then i left...

saturday:
i woke up hella sore..then i got changed and ready at lik 9:30 for stress release..then i went and was totally taken aback by this people there. then like..i dunno..i was smacked in the face my the teacher with his comment. i felt bad enough being the youngest one there..then he told me to go to the class where they go slower..FUCK THAT!! i was hella getting it. but whatever. i was so pissed off. i was totally getting EVERYTHING except in the beginning..but the new stuff..i was on..ggrr..ageist..im so angry. when he told me i almost ran out crying. but i was like..nope..im gonna finish this class..and NEVER EVER COME BACK..ggrr..stupid. i'll find something else. but yeah then i called greg and talked to him and he made me feel better. then i went to another stress release and yeah that was nice. not too hard. then i went to rite aid and bought gregory a drink. his cough medicine..hahah dr. pepper..haha then i went to my room and got my stuff ready for a shower..but ended up napping instead. then greg called and said he was outside..and i was like..crap..hahah..and i took a 10 minute shower..and said hello to the love of my life. then we do what we always do when he comes over. me stayed in bed and talked about our week and how much we missed eachother and couldnt wait to see eachother and how much im infatuated and obsessed with him. =) it was all nice and mushy haha. and stupid..hahah. and we just talked. thats my favorite part of my weekends..just lying there tangled up in eachother on my bed, talking. mmm..smelling him. he smells like cute boy. =) and i got him a shirt! from the volleyball game. and yeah. then when i came out of the shower he was wearing it. i love him!! and he smiled and i sighed because i had been waiting the whole week for that look..for someone to smile at me like that. and my heart melted..because he was early.. then we went out to dinner at applebee's with jen, apple, mo, kim, ofek, ashley, and freshmen..hahah...twas fun. oh and greg and apple's boyfriend talked cars..hahaha..then we watched the girl next door. and me and greg went to the golden gate bridge and watched the lights..and watched people make out in their cars..and crash..haha..and "we danced in the moonlight"!! and at about 3AM we went back and slept..in the living room...saturday was AMAZING!!!!

sunday:
sinday was equally as AMAZING as the day before. we woke up early and got ready to go to his family party in brentwood. we took a shower and got all dressed up and i couldnt figure out what to wear..potitively amazing bonding we had trying to figure out what to wear...haha..then yeah..then greg picked an outfit for me..well..helped decide..and we left..and drove. i was navigator. then we got food..kinda got lost..kinda didnt and had a great time with is family..despite the looks of eh given to me by his family..hahaha..but he says its okay..because he doesnt care!! and i love him! then we went to target and in-n-out and ate food in my room. then he had to leave, but not before my favorite part of our visits..the talks tangled up in eachother on my bed..i love him!!

monday: (aka today)
clinical orientation. nap. cheer. in-n-out. want to quit cheer. talk to love of my life. sleep. dream about love of my life.