HAHAHAHA OMG america's funniest home videos is the bestest show ever. those video's are so great! like there was this one time wen this girl was gonna dive off backwards, but she just jumped straight up and down, and landed back on the board on her back, and like flopped into the pool..it was HIGH-larious. haha gottalove people who do stupid things not on purpose so that people like me can laugh...its not like i dont do stuff like tha because i do, but i just dont video tape it

so its friday, finally, except that i have to go to school tomorrow. competitions every saturdy until the second week of april..well..the first weekof april is a dance festival cmpetition, so yes. but still, no free saturdays until april, man gottaclear all my dates yeah right. seaking of dates i want to go to my schools junior prom..but ima senior, too bad, but im asking all of my friends to find a date for me. i swear i know a total of like 7 junior guys, i named them all too. theres this one guy who EVERYONE said will take me, but they also said h was kinda hecka really annoying, and liked anything that XX chromosomes at the end or something. =) thanks gary that's really nice to say..hahaha..so yeah i kinda kept hinting about this one guy to this other guy so he could, yenno hook it up, but he wasnt listenting, but yenno, he prolly has a date already, so dangit! but stll, hes real cute and i think im a stalker, cause i told jules that i thought he was cute and so during our IWE period we ooked up his schedule, except she looked it up not me! an i ask them to let me deliver passes to hi class so i can walk in and stare at him dont worry im not a creep. but hes cute and i dont think many guys are cute, well i do, but he's i dunno, i guess i havent thought many guys at my school were cute, cause ive been to school with them for 3 years, and there are only 280 people in my class,and some of the guys are a little..well..stupid..they cant help it, im sure they were helped too much in getting accepted into moreau. cause yenno they went to catholic schools before, and little old public school girl here! so yes. back to junior prom dates, if you know who im talking about hook it up ( with a ghetto accent..hahah) or if yu kno anyone that wnts to take me, or would be willing, or whatever, =) cause my junior prom sucked like a vacuum!!! so yeah, have fun with that, really wat to go cause i think it'll be fun with krystle and tiffany and it'll be fun..and yes..i must go...i must. so about guard and our competitions, come watch us! e're hecka good! go us! kep up team morale!! go 4th place! oh i mean 3rd! cause some other chool isnt going to be there. woot woot. man we rule. okay, so today was an interesting day at school. i picked up mycousins jackie and jena at logan today, i was like aaww i never get to pick you guys up from school. even though i could pick them up everyday, but i just forget to tell them.

well happy ash wednesday..i don know how to spell it, wednesday, wednsday who knows. so, nothing really new happened. uh tiff and i went to tapioca afterschol it was great, cause we had ashes, and tiffany hecka called that iwold care about having them on. haha this guy tati used to go to school with was outside smoking and he saw our foreheads and was like..aaww f-word, i have to go to church today too, i hecka just gave all of them hella weird looks. hahaha. but i was tinking, yeah thats nice, alk about church like that. but anywayd,s i took a np, and i woke up and now my eyes are itchy, cause my retarded little sister brouht the cat, who im allergic to, in my room cause i was seeping, i was like hello!! man, so college, dont wanna go, its gonna be crazy, um..im scared =) AAAHHH my eyes re really itchy, im not used to writing in jounral online things all the time so there's gonna be fat gaps and stuff. so what did you give up for lent, well im giving up meat, but not fish, and swearing, and im trying this new thig where wheever i can say something really mean and scathing and whatever, i won't, its really hard, and it probably wll last like 3 days, but if not that, then i'll give up buying soda everyday. yenno, cause i really wana lose those pounds hahahaha, my dad called me fat the oter day. he said i should exercse more. i was like, nice, you took my out of swimming, not me. dude if i was swimming id be really much not flabbier than i am now, i' be moe in shape. yes im sure dance is exercise and stuff, but not even half as strenuous as swimming. i mean i used to swim for like 3 hours everyday! yes, 1 hor of dance equals that, but not really, oka well im gonna take allergy medicine, see you later

This is an excerpt from my journal entry for dance (let me stress the fact of EXCERPT, meaning only a little portion of what i really wrote.)
Cultural and Ethnic Connection: it’s a Filipino thing
Again dealing with the fact that my parents are very traditional and Filipino. So yes they grew up in the old ways and taught me to be like them, and sometimes you just need to vent. What I noticed is that it really helps when you can relate your years growing up, with people who have experienced the same things. Being able to relate to someone or having someone relate to you is essential. Filipinos, (basically any Asian) are not allowed to have problems. We are not supposed to be crazy or need help; we are not allowed to ask for help. Our parents have raised us with honor, and we are to respect that and be well-adjusted children. But keeping that inside is impossible. So what does a person do? Talking to someone who has been raised in the strict lifestyle which growing up Filipino entails helps to let your soul breathe. I know that I talk to Nicole, Krystle and Tiffany all the time about my family problems, because they understood, they know the pressures that our parents put us under. We talk about it, discuss it, and laugh. But this really only works with people who understand this, Asian people; I know many other cultures have the same way of growing up, but it just feels better when you relate to people from your own homeland, and your own culture, who grew up with the same traditions. I feel like only Filipino girls can feel the struggles that I go through. They understand the stress it puts on your life when you’re being raised in the Philippines during the 1960’s. Its like we live two lives, the lives are parents want us to live, and our lives, the lives which we get to influence and have outside influences on. Just trying to find the links to now and then emotionally strain you. I rarely hang out with my Filipino friends, and I think that hurts me a lot. I always have other things to do, but when I do hang out with them, boy does it come out. We laugh and talk about how many lumpias we had to make, or how early we had to wake up for Simbang Gabi, or even the how we know our parents are really mad because they switch dialects on us. Having friends of your own culture is so important to cultures that suppress individuality and change, like ours. I’m not putting down my culture, I love being Filipino, and you just have to take the ouches with the good. Look at Elizabeth and Amanda, they’re very good friends, and they have that link of their culture to being them together, I do so many different things that I don’t get to have that with the friends I usually hang out with. All children of traditional families need an outlet to vent their frustrations and laughs. You’re supposed to look like you family is okay, “it’s not always happy, but they must look that way.”

so a little about me. my name is teeny. thats my happy name. people call me that when they're not mad at me of whatever. and im 17 and a senior at some private high school in hayward. im hecka filipino and by some miracle in heaven, i turned out to be 5'5" really tall for a filipino, and a girl!! this blog will be used to tell everyone in the world what i really think of them and their personality. but its also to show the world how much my life sucks. like today: wow well today sucked. i like how i got hella in trouble because no one called me. let's recap on whe happened. well i was supposed to see a dance concert today at 3 with the dance club (which really was just the people who are in guard and dance and are seniors and like our teacher and one girl's mom) which totaled about 7 people. so on friday, they were discussing the trip while we were all changing, i say they were discussing it because i really wasnt talkin, so anyways, our teacher was like hows christine getting there and my "friend" says oh she can come with me..i'll bring her, and im like okay i didnt say anything but whatever. so it's all decided and whatever so i'm like cool..okay..so saturday passes and im like wow..okay tomorrow..i'll get a call..they'll tell me what the hell im doing..or what the hells going on right? so its sunday, i go to church, and its like 1:30pm and im like hey, i should probably call, so im all dressed to go..i got my money and stuff ready and i call the girl thats supposed to bring me, and shes home so im like, hey whats going on today? and she's like oh i dunno im not going anymore, and i was like tight..okay what happened? and she's like i got in trouble so i cant go. well okay so now im getting kinda scared, and i say what did everyone else do? and she said oh last i heard they're supposed to meet at our teacher's house at 1:15..even better i think to myself, its only about...1:40!!! so i'm like oh okay, and she says yeah sorry i didnt call you..hahah sorry..nice..whatever..so now im screwed. my parents arent home. i dont have anyone's number so i ask her for this other girl thats going's number, and she has another call so she says she'll call me back. then she calls back and is like okay heres her numbers, so it's useless cause they all left already so i have no fucking use for these people's numbers. then im completely screwed. so i go and tell my friend tiffany (who is probably the only one who is reading this) what happened. and yeah shes completely on my side, but its not like anytyhing will help because now our teacher can hate us both =) so i have nothing to do. and im sitting at home and at lik 3 pm, when the concert is supposed to start, i get a call. its my teacher. shes like we're here at the theatre why arent you here. and i can't say anything right? because i got nothing, im like well my ride, and she cuts me off and says "you didnt call anyone, you didnt contact anyone, this is so irresponsible, i cant believe you did this!! we were almost late because of you..you still owe me $25.00 yadda-yadda-yadda..and it ends with an i'll talk to you on MONDAY!!!"..and by this time im like dying because im so fucking pissed off and im crying cause she swears i can handle her getting mad at me im forever on the brink of destroying myself and she knows it. no one can handle the problems i go through so i decide not to tell my friends cause they shouldnt have to handle my problems, so i leave my house and drive around, (after i got hung up on of course) and im crying and crying looking for some huge truck to run my car into, and i go to WAL*MART to buy stuff, and people are looking at me cause im crying, and its all great, so i call tiffy, and tell her..and everything's fine and stuff. tiffany's the best! and so after i talk to her i sti in my car and hella cry and can't wait to have my teacher yell at me so i can cry and withdraw even more and push me even closer to the brink of destroying myself and stuff its real great. and its not like i can tell my parents that im crying and crap so i wait til im not red, and i go in the house. and life goes on, we all hope. i cant wait for the day i blow up at everyone and run out crying and screaming..she can dock my grade or whatever, but i dont care cause i dont think this is my fault. do you think its my fault? please tell me if you do cause i dont wanna be thinking im all hecka right when im not. okay see you soon..