wow

so wow. i had no idea my birthday was in 2 days. i kinda forgot about it because ive been so busy with work. i havent even gotten my birthday cake! i completely forgot. oh well...im being super nostalgic. i know ive been really good lately. but my birthday coming around and stuff, i miss him. not is a heartbreak or sad crying mode, but a heartache and a sad smile i miss him. i dont remember what he lloks like smiling at me. i dont remember what his voice sounds like. and i'm sad. i worked so hard to forget him. and i actually slowly am...sad. really sad. he wanted it this way. i worked hard to get where i am emotionally after he hurricane katrina-ed my heart. and now im i dunno. there. fading. im super melancholy right now. prolly cause im hella tired. i went out last night. got home drunk at about 230am, woke up at 500am, church at 530, then straight to work from 7-330pm. man. then home and talking online! hahaha i need sleep. but i'll never wake up if i sleep...