busy

busy busy day! class was cancelled, so i had time to sleep in and read some homework, but i didnt..then i ate 2 pices of toast and butter..mmm.
at about 12ish i had to tutor until 4 something. but afterwards, regina and i went to target, ross, and old navy. wait, we went to sephora too and costco. we had yummy hot dogs too. it was so good. what else? one of my tutees called me, desperately in need of my help? hahaha but i saved her ass and yeah. i bought lots of clothes..i dont know why i do this!! i have no money, well not really, i tutor a bajillion times a week. so i should be okay. i only spent like 140 dollars, but i tutored for 7 hours and thats like..half..hahaha..i dunno. i'll make it up some way. but yenno, i only pay 350 for rent instead of 500, so i think im cool. hahaha. well yeah, regina's car got towed and stuff but it turned out okay cause she got her car back and brian paid for everything. so cute. aaww.. then i went home and did some reading and stuff. we also got stuff for our aparment and now it looks cuter..if that is possible. everyone should see it. i love it. now im tired. so bye!

save me

"to whomever is reading this: please, save me, because i dont know what to do. my life is so perfect, but i always seem to find fault with it. why is that? why do i constantly try to make myself unhappy when i am so happy now? why do choices arise right when im content and free and okay. why do i want to not be okay? why do i muddy up the water in my mind and in my life? why do i attempt the impossible? why do i make myself cry when i should be rejoicing? when will i learn to be happy? when will i know what i want? why do i need to be stable now? when can i have fun? have i ever had fun? why am i wrong? but what if i'm right? does that make it wrong? if i go away will i still be myself when i come back? will i ever come back? will i ever leave? save me, not from something, but from someone, myself, which in retrospect, i cannot really be saved from. " -it comes from inside me

just breathe...

Always try to help a friend in need
Believe in yourself
Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes
Study hard
Give lots of kisses
Laugh often
Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number
Always try to see the glass half full
Meet new people, even if they look different to you
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless
Take lots of naps
Be weird whenever you have the chance
Love your friends, no matter who they are
Don't waste food
RELAX
Take an occasional risk
Try to have a little fun each day. (it’s important)
Work together as a team
Share a joke with friends
Fall in love with someone ..
...and say "I love you" often
Express yourself creatively
Be conscious of your appearance
Always be up for surprises
Love someone with all of your heart
Share with friends
Watch your step
It will get better
There is always someone who loves you more than you know
Seize the Moment
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between
Indulge in the things you truly love
At the end of the day... close your eyes
And smile… (or cry?)

school

so much has happened, i dont know where to start. well i went to seattle with my sister for 2 weeks, stayed on post, and spent lots of money. if you want to know more, just ask, too much to type.
started school in my new beautiful apartment, its been okay really, so overwhelming. im tutoring now and its so crazy. my schedule is so packed with cheer and everything. Cheer try-outs went okay i guess, they could have been better. im tutoring up the wazoo. i dont know. crazy, im so tired all the time. really, i dont know how im going to get all this work done. im so scared of failing.
luckily i got this weekend to re-group and rest. my puppy molly died this weekend, so i was so devastated. and crying and crying is all i did for 2 days. we went to see matt and i told my love phil to go to the party with us on sunday because i havent seen that hot hot man in some time. hahaha. so yeah. we went to the party and josh's parents house is so nice. and we went swimming and it was so much fun. around one i went home with phil ot stay the night. it was fun. we stayed up all night talking and swaping stories and secrets. *sigh* i love phil. phil is so wonderful and so cute and so so so cute, did i mention he's cute? and he has these glasses and he laughs so cute. *sigh* im so infatuated with him. he thinks im lying, but im really not. poor greg. hahahah. but phil and i had a good, no, great talk about everything like love, life, and everything. and greg is super jealous but we nuzzled. hahaha it was so cute. i think phil will be a wonderful boyfriend. poor greg. hahahaha. i dunno. phil and i are going to be best friends. it'll be great. well not for greg...