Saturday, December 01, 2007

sick

im making myself sick. but not on purpose. i cant eat, i walk around the house like nothing. but i have to stop. yesterday at work i had to leave because i pretty much threw up and fainted. my body hates my heart and my mind hates them both, so they're all at war!. when i got home i was hurting so bad. my head, my body, my stomach, my chest. im making myself sick. i dont feel like i should have a fever but i had one last night, i havent been sick in all the months ive been working. but i must say, mind over matter thing is crazy. my mind is hurting with my heart and i made yself sick. i made myself get a 102.3F fever because my heart is broken. i'm probably going to get kicked out of the NICU program anyways. i make stupid mistakes all the time because i can't concentrate. my life is ruined. again.

sick

im making myself sick. but not on purpose. i cant eat, i walk around the house like nothing. but i have to stop. yesterday at work i had to leave because i pretty much threw up and fainted. my body hates my heart and my mind hates them both, so they're all at war!. when i got home i was hurting so bad. my head, my body, my stomach, my chest. im making myself sick. i dont feel like i should have a fever but i had one last night, i havent been sick in all the months ive been working. but i must say, mind over matter thing is crazy. my mind is hurting with my heart and i made yself sick. i made myself get a 102.3F fever because my heart is broken. i'm probably going to get kicked out of the NICU program anyways. i make stupid mistakes all the time because i can't concentrate. my life is ruined. again.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

get me through the day songs

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....




It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as well as you planned
But when my loneliness is through, i'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When i was your lover
No one else would do
If i'm forced to find another i hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now i'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh i'm gonna find another you


Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part


not so great day at work. life is much more depressing without someone else. i kinda made it through my day without crying til the end when i COMPLETELY LOST IT. hahah hard report, forgot things..yenno..the usual. then i jus couldnt hold it in..and i lost it. cried in the elevator, cried in the car, on the way home. this is hard by yourself.

Monday, November 26, 2007

ok

its gonna be okay. haha i had a good day. got out of class fast cause 2 of the speakers weren't there. i started the day off not even wanting to get out of bed because of what happened yesterday. and throughout the day, it got better and i had lunch with my friends and i got home early and tried on my jeans that i bought..and..sadly..they're too big!!!!!!!!!!!! haha so i need to go back and exchange them for a smaller...let me say it again..SMALLER size. so im going back tomorrow to go and exchange them. my thighs are like super tight in them, but the waist is super like..big hahah. this whole losing weight thing..is FABULOUS!! haha and damn i look so good 10 pounds lighter. hahaha anyways watching scrubs, busy week..yay..ta ha

then i went to the gym and seriously got checked out by these little 17-19 year olds..hahah. but i had a good workout. then i ate a lot. so it cancels out..hahaha

Sunday, November 25, 2007

the girls...