today was..interesting..well i woke up and maryann didnt go to school cause she had surgery..and then i cleaned a little so i could go on the picnic with the club and the guys and yeah..so tiffany picked me up at lik..12:30 even though we were supposed at the ta's house at 12:30..but before that i wasnt feeling the picnic..my eyes kept sweating and excreting water..it was weird..it was kinda like i was crying..but not really..but yeah i was..then tiff came and i wiped my tears away like a big girl..and we left..i brought clam chowder for krystle and anh cause he asked for some and krystle..you know krystle and her clam chowder..then we were inside and i went back into the garage at the ta's house and i walked out and was saying stuff and i cried and i sat on the couch and everyone was like aww whats wrong..but whatever..i kinda told them..and there was the hugging i love them..my friends..theyre the greatest..and then i walked outside to get seom fresh air before we left and i was hekka crying again..and tiffany came up from behind me and was like whats wrong..and i told her..and i was HELLA crying..and i just kinda had a mini break down..but dont worry..it was worse last night..i couldnt even open my eyes this morning..but yeah then we had the picnic..it was so much fun..it was great..it was just what i needed..we ate and made fun of nicole and made krystle run in the grass hahaha..she likes that..yenno..the grass..and i got grass stains on my knees cause we were doing cartwheels and such and everything..cause we were doing the rosemary backroll..haha its so cool..and yeah then at like 330 we went to kumon so tiff and krystle could get jobs..and then they said they had to take a test so we went back to the ta's and waited..kinda napped..kinda kicked people..haha..then we went back to cal state to pick up their other brother...and we came back and tiff and krystle were on their way back..and then i left..but yeah..that was my day..and i completely needed it..now im kinda sick..well i have been..but today was the first day i really needed to take my inhaler..yenno when you can feel your chest getting tight cause it hurts cause you're sick..and the whole sweating from my eyes deal doesnt help..it kinda just makes it worse..wow..i was hoping not to have to go to the emergency room this summer..but i feel like i will be doing a lot of crying and coughing and inhaling the inhaler..which if you have asthma..you hate taking..cause if you take it enough then you have to take the machine..and that hurts and makes you hyper and cry cause you shake but you can breathe..but whats the exchange in that? i had to set it up in my room again today when i took a nap cause i keep sleeping on my back and i cant breathe..but dont tell my mom or dad..they thought the sound was my fan..i dont wanna go to the doctor..they always do the same thing..and im like..i know whats wrong..so blah..and yeah..so then when i got home i took a nap and then i woke up and here i am..so..I DONT CARE ANYMORE..

you know when you find out that someone you'e good friends with kinda lied to you about his feelings or someone that dislikes you? well i know how you feel..it just hurts..and i just spent the last hour typing up a goodbye letter to this guy..and i know im not gonna have the guts to tell him..i think it hurts cause the girl who he cares for so much hates me..and shes supposed to be this great person..and i dont doubt that cause i know shes nice and hella funny and stuff..she just doesnt like me..and well whatever..but he can have her over me..not like im anything..but i want him to be happy..and i hope he knows im doing this for his own good..clean break..well it has been fun but you know im right..just forget about us..we're not even friends anymore..i take it all back..just forget everything i ever told you about me and us being friends..cause its over..i dont want it anymore..friendship shouldnt be about its worht the pain..it should be it helps me get through the pain..and not cause it..so yeah..have fun..cause thats the way the cookie crumbles..

woohoo camping is so much fun especially with nicole and tiffany..and krystle was there in spirit..dude all we did was make fun of nicole and scare her with bugs and deers and racoons who like hot cheetoes..man she hekka easy to scare..the funniest 3 days of the summer so far..nothing can beat that shoot it was hekka fun..man..wish you all were there..heres a little blip of what happened..a lady bug commited suicide in nicoles bosom..people canoeing got stuck on the beach..nicole is scared of anything living that isnt a human..and fat people who say that are vegitarians arent really..they just only eat vegetarians..HAHAHAH so you can just imagine the fun i had..it was hekka cool and i cant stop smiling and having fun just remembering..poor nicole..found out so many harsh things this weekend..her por head needs to rest cause she was so overloaded with all the gossip..heheh dude okay..we were all gonna take a shower and we went in line..and there were like..4 kids and 2 adults in front of us in one big group..when it was almost our turn some lady brings in like 3 more kids..and herself to take a shower..i was like nice..just rotate kids huh? ahaha tiff named them the menendez family..then the next night we beat a new group of people in the showers..i call..the mendoza family..hahaha..it was funny..swimming off of the bost was hella fun..nicole and her lifeguard swimsuit..HAHAHA..jeez..to many funny things that happened..it was great and i loved it..phil is in the doghouse..cause hes a fool..hahah we were there and nicole was mad..stupid no reception..hahah...hello..CAMPiNG?? getting away form it all..but oh well..it was hot and cold and windy in a good ratio..it was nice..the tent was hekka cool and the food was good too..and DiP..DiP..heheheh you know what im talking about..and me and tiff and nicole got to bond..EVEN MORE..and talk about people..and relationships..and guy..and deers and racoons and YU-GI-OH!! my little cousin chris ryan hella has a crush of tiffany..hehehe..and yeah so nicole felt the need to explain about baseball and the bases to me..i was like..AAAHHH DEAR GOD NO DONT TELL ME..I DONT WANNA KNOW..but tiffany said i had to and nicole was telling me already hella loud..so all you people who know already are SiCKOS!!! jeez..i cant believe my ears were defiled by that smut..yeah you heard me..smut..nothing good can come from me knowing any of that..eeuuccchhh.. *shiver* got me all creeped out now..jeez..anyways..but yeah..swimming was fun..people were hella staring and stuff..cause nicole has boobs and tiffany does too..and i..well..i was with them..and i have long hair..and people were attracted to the longness and the blackness of it and the shineyness hahaha.. but yeah..so look all you want..hahaha it was funny..i only noticed cause i notice things that other people dont..like that picutre with me and nicole..and some girls midriff showing in the backround yeah..i saw that..but they were looking..and swimming near us and hekka trying to show off..i was like..PHU-LEEZ fool..back up..im pretty sure youre not cute at all..and when we "swam laps" they were hekka following and looking and trying to be cool..but they're not..and thus ends our camping trip..too bad its over..i wish i could have stayed longer..so yeah..thats the update..for the 4 people that read this..hahaha..incuding me..so yeah ask questions cause its hella funny..the answers that i'll give..about the trip..