okay well life sucks..im so stupid..god i hate this..this always happens to me..i dont think i deserve to be crying over crap like this..i just dont need this..i was perfectly happy til this..then i thought it was extra happy..but then something else happened..and now im just confused. so..i've decided to just forget everyting until one gives way..or seomthing happens..im not gonna call or do anything out of my way.. i know i should make an effort..but all good things come in good time..so im in a bad mood..and nothing but crying seems to help..im such an idiot..why do i give a damn? i shouldnt..i shouldnt..all this..im making a big deal about it..but thats what i do..right? make a big deal out of everything..right? miss drama teeny..yeah well..not all the time am i being so damn dramatic.. so yeah..lets talking about something that isnt about stupid crap..the musical..Les Mis rules..hehe..i get to do the makeup and help dress people in their costumes..help with mics..and stuff..i dunno if i get to even watch it because im really too lazy to train someone to do all my crap..so i guess i wont watch it..im tired of all the lies and the games..and i dont wanna get involved..but yeah back to the musical..afterwards we went to meet the fans..we saw o'down there..they loved it..cause we rule..well our musical does..our vocalists are amazing!! i love them so much! hehehe speaking of singers..al..haha..the 'love of my life' hahahaha...i was hugging him like i always do..and mike saw us..and then in class he was like..are you an al going out? and i was like..hahaha...no..then he said..do you like him? and i was like..NO...then mike was like..do you want to go out with him? and i was like..uuumm..no..no hun i dont not like him, nor do i want go out with him, nor am i going out with him. it was quite funny..i love al! he's great..yeah back to tonight..i do the make up costumes hair and whetever else needs to be done..im such a stage mom..hehe my kid is so gonna be pampered..heheh..if i have kids..with the way my life is going now..im pretty sure im gonna feel like killing myself before i even get to go to college..so yeah..then afterwards we were outside having the o'down people praise us..(hehe very good for the ego) and yes...we were bragging about dive in..which krystle claire and i created! woot woot..we're great..and yesthen i walked nicole and tiffany to thair cars..and i was telling them about my bad day..but then i remembered i had to get something for one of the costumes..so i went back in..but then i went back outside and i went to talk to this guy that i met this year..he's in my analysis class..his name is mark..he's high-larious..he also has sars..poor guy..heheh.. and when i was running to my car...cause it was raining like hella hard..and he's like her christine.. and i was like hi! who did you come to see? and he was like you! and i said aaww..how cute!! thanks hun..but i wasnt in it..i only did the hair and makeup and costumes and everything else that needed to be done..hehe but he was like..those were great too! hehe and i was like..thanks! he's the only person to ever thank me for today and yesterday's work..so i was like yay someone appreciates me! and then he was like..here..and he gave me a rose! it was so pretty cause it was raining and it had raindrops on it..very nice..hehe and yeah..so i said thanks and got into my car and left..and that was nice..and as i was driving home i was thinking..about all this stuff..which is nothing..and i was like so mad i was screaming out loud in my car..and now my throat hurts..and i was crying and crying..and i was like..this shouldnt matter..it shouldnt..so it doesnt..and i dont want to have anything to do with it..i say things i mean when im mad..i really do..and i even held myself back..but i just hear SO MANY THINGS!! and i dont wanna go there..i really dont..there is a very bad bad dark place for teeny..she cant survive there..so yeah..im sorry ive been mean..but really..you bastards brought that upon yourselves..you shouldnt tell me things i want to hear when i already almost have something i want..

okay so im not the best type of person to be yenno having to go around and do what other girls do..that didnt make sense..but it did to me..and i really am not that mean..and i try not to be..but yenno..how you have a feeling before you go do something..and it sticks with you? and honestly..we werent talking about things i wanted to be talking about before we got there..and im babbling..but those who know will get it..and i didnt mean to be a punk..i just..well..i just am..and i said so before...i plainly said..you dont want me to like you because im mean..but did i listen to myself? no..did he listen? i think not..and now im in a huge stupid overly dramatic tiff about it..not as in tiffany..as in problem..i mean on the way there i was thinking about stuff..and well..so the topic about how i do this whole i can talk on the phone and online..but face to face..and i notice i do it too..and that just bugged me..cause its my own fault..and well..i dont do it on purpose..but thats the only way id be able to do it though right? *sigh* i dunno..but i always do everything wrong..i can never do anything rite..obviously im not even fit to go and talk to anyone..because im such a punk..and im pretty sure that everyone was like..euch..thats her? shes mean..and im pretty sure that i had other things on my mind..and im pretty sure i dont like having to..AH...i dunno..things get to me a lot..and even nicole pointed it out..i mean i kinda wasnt feeling all too cool and whatever..and im pretty sure i was stressed about a rehersal i had in like 30 min..but still it so doesnt give me a right to be hella..be hella like me..like i am..and i cant help it..and yes i can..eerr..this is so frustrating..cause im happy one minute..then someone goes and tells me i was a complete snob! i dont even know what im doing..perhaps i should just go crawl underneath a rock and stay there..im pretty sure that when i was there and walking back to the car 3 guys 'holla-ed' at me and i was like..uumm.. sure..and well..i dunno..im like why should i care..cause i dont..but then..but then it was like..i dont even care..look at her for all i care..cause i dont..im pretty sure i dont control your eyes..and...im mean..and im sorry..but thats how i am..id really try to change if i knew how i was supposed to act..im new at this..so sue me..but i am sorry..and you'll get it if you know what im talking about..there are a lot of things in my life i dont know what to do about..and this is one of them that i dont..i just wanna know that im gonna be okay..that im gonna be all that there needs to be for it..oh im such an idiot..whatever..i dont even know what im talking about..maybe someone should tell me what i need to do..hopefully..

okay this is how the last part of my day went:
Uh its me teeny: theres sars in china town..
watchmeshimmy: if im quiet im doing econ
Uh its me teeny: are you infected tiff?
watchmeshimmy: SAARRS IS EVVIL
watchmeshimmy: i am
aaamazinglyweird: if ur quiet u have sars
Uh its me teeny: econ is fun..hahaha
watchmeshimmy: hahah
Uh its me teeny: YEAH CAUSE YOURE DEAD
aaamazinglyweird: cuz she had a fever!
watchmeshimmy: hahaha
watchmeshimmy: its gone!
watchmeshimmy: im just coughing up some wierd stuff now
aaamazinglyweird: damnit does ur head still hurt if u touch it christine?
aaamazinglyweird: some weird stuff? like jacks and rocks and marbles? waht the hell is weird?!? it should the same stuff anyone coughs up!
Uh its me teeny: hahahahahaha
aaamazinglyweird: it should be the same

yeah but before that i went to church..it was fun..cause maryann kept getting jealous cause i was siting next to my mom and she wanted to..hehehe..then we went home at eat lunch..then i went to the mall..i got some new clothes..cause they were having a jeans sale at express..and their jeans are hecka nice..they make my huge butt look a tiny bit smaller..hehehe..well theres nothing i can do about that..but yeah then i went home called tiffany and took a nap..