sometimes i can be such a bitch..and im sorry and i do appreciate you..and i know it sounds stupid..but i love you..and all that you do for me..i dont know what i was thinking.. it'll never ever happen again..im so sorry it happened..i dont know what i'll do without you..no one can replace you..EVER...youre my link to sanity and my lifeline..no one could replace you..you know more about me than anyone else..you know me better than i know me..when i have problems youre there..when i feel sad you make sure that i am happy..you complete my nights conversations on the phone..youre the closest person to me thats not related to me..our relationship is so important to me..i would sacrifice anything in the world for it..i would give anything to turn back the clock so that i would think before i do stuff..if liking guys means sacrificing my friends..sacrificing my friendship with you..then its not for me..im a terrible person..and i dont deserve you..god knows we've put eachother through hell..but somehow we just keep being friends..i dont think id be the person..or even here for that matter..if it wasnt for our talks..our conversations..your advice.. im sorry i was stupid and wanted to turn away from you..im impulsive to a fault..and i didnt meant it.. you know i would never ever hurt you intentionally..i was mad that you could replace me..and i wasnt ready for it..i thought maybe i could replace you first..to make you think twice about replacing me..but i was wrong..i shouldnt have used him make you mad..i was doing it subconsciously and im sorry i hurt you..and im sorry it took this to figure out how much i love you and your friendship..youre the only one who can make me cry like that..hahaha..i cried so much my face hurt in the morning..then again today..just thinking about it..im sorry i ever thought i could replace you or that id want to abandon you..i was wrong and there is no excuse that could make this better and i know you say you forgive me..but i dont forgive me..i was mean and dont deserve to be forgiven..im gonna miss you when i go away..id trade anyone and anything for you..i hope this doesnt sound creepy..but i mean it..

so i know i havent updated in oh..six bajillion years..well just deal with it..im lazy and its summer so go and eat a cookie..speaking of eating and being lazy..thats all ive been doing for the past like week and a half! all i do is eat..hahah thats not all i guess..okay i went to antony's graduation in the midst of like 472189 people..hecka long..omg..like 2.5 hours..whatever though it was fun...i went with krystle and paul and their friend jules..it was hecka funny cause first we went to go pick up his tux for jades cotillion..oh by the way krystle..its COTILLION..heheh with an O...heheh but yeah..then i was hecka going ADHD style and looking at shiney things and stuff and paul was like..dude..way to be like 5 years old..and we had a good talk about stuff..hes great..i enjoy his company..and he has pretty eyes..i think its paul..im pretty sure..yeah..then we went back to antony's house and we all left to go to the graduation..we were so not paying attention there..it was funny..hehehe then paul had to take me home..but he wanted to mingle..so we mingled..and he introduced me to like 753289 people..people were hekka nice and were like..arent you gonna introduce us? and i kept laughing cause paul was like..uumm..this is..teeny.. uumm..christine..me and antony's friend..ahaha he was about to introduce me as antony's girlfriend..i was like..nu uh..hehehe.and some people thought i was his girlfriend..hahaha funny..yeah..thats what i said!! but then antony called my cell phone and he had my wallet and conned us into going to his house to pick it up..so he could see me..what a load of baloney..hahaha..then they dropped me off..and then he tried to do this really bad pick up line which didnt work cause he forgot..hehehe..it was quite sad.. then i went home..then the next day i went to go eat out with him and his friends cause they went to go pick up their diplomas..and his friend john drove..haha krystle..john..woohoo..hehehehe..but yeah then we met all of his friends..twas quite akward..heheh..then...yeah..we went to ihop..i had to go..then i came back..we went back to mt eden..then..oh then i saw the ex love of my life jaime..yeah so hes cute and yeah i was in love with him since like 7th grade..but things change..he obviously didnt cause he still looked hott to me..but who cares..cause i have what i want..so i went to say hi..and talked..but he was preoccupied with girls and stuff..so i decided to leave..then antony had to be cool and get me mad..so i was mad..then i told them to drop me off at my cousins..my cousins were hecka like..ooo..shes mad..hehehehe..theyre funny..then i went with my family to maryanns graduation..twas fun..we were like..MURRY GO LIL MUSS MUSS..HEHEHE...then we went home and picked up food for a mini party..got maryann ready..hehehe we kept making fun of her and she hit us..well..me i was the closest..hehehe then she got in trouble and was 45 min late..hehehe..then she went to the dance..then tiffany and nicole and phil came over..and ate left over food..then i was in a hecka bad mood the entire time at the graduation and stuff cause i was thinking about my fight with antony..and i told them and they were like..omg..get over it..but i was pissed off..so they understood..gotta love friends that'll stand by you even when youre being stupid.. but yeah.. then that ended the day..the cotillion was the next day..but i'll make that a separate entry..nope..no i wont..too much time okay i didnt even wanna go cause i was mad at him..so then i was like..i dont have anything to wear i dont have time..and yeah..me and nicole went to go get jade a present..and it was great we're such good present people..then i got ready..took me forever..we didnt even leave my house til like..645..but it was all good..cause anh check us in cause we were sitting at our table..but i was still hekka mad i was gonna like pass out from anger..so anh gave me his balloon..and i still have it..heheh..but yeah.. then i was like..aaww so i had a better night from then..then i was seated in front of the court..and people were like..hi teeny..and trying to make me feel better..then they danced..then i was going to christina's car to go and put my stuff away before we danced..then i went back in and antony was there and was like..im sorry..and its not like he hadnt said it before..but i was plannaing on talking to him later anyways..so i was like..walk..and we went to go talk.. and its all better..and yeah..so i have a boyfriend..and its still the same we make fun of eachother and stuff..so its just now with a title..but people were telling me we were going out earlier than yesterday..we just didnt know it..but oh well..then we went back inside and danced..but not after i made the biggest mistake in my friendship with one of my best friends..

i love my friends! todany has been amost eventful day..i graduated today! from high school..hehehe im so glad its over!! except they didnt say my scholarship after my name..it would have made me look smart..but hey..who cares..no one knows where my school is anyways..heheh..so my friends made me leis and stuff and i love them! i didnt think they were gonna..but they love me lots..and thank you to those people" my sister, tiffany, krystle, antony and hoh..i love you guys! it made my day! i was so surprised when i got them..it makes me happy inside that you guys would go through all this trouble for me..you'll never know how much it means to me to know that you guys did that for me..and my mother got me 2 dozen FAT red roses..it fun..except this morning..and for the past like 2 weeks i've woken up with a sore throat and not been able to talk..and yeah..so ive been sick..but this morning was bad..i hecka couldnt talk..then i could..but it hurt..then my friends came and i was like..screw this..talk..hehehe..okay..well..here's how all the graduation festivities went:

EXAMS:
what else is there to say about these? they sucked!!

SENIOR BBQ:
mm..good food? people signed my yearbook? hahahaha it was great..hecka cold though outside

GRAD NITE:
oh the tightest ever! it was so much fun and so gorgeous..i loved it..im so glad i went..the veiw was awesome and so was the music and the danceing and to food and the atmosphere..it was so funny..laura was talking about it to me..she was like..everyone was freaking..but it was plutonic..hahah i was like..yeah it was..i was like..im never gonna see you guys ever!! so who cares..hahaha..but it was so pretty they we went next to the game at pac bell and we started yelling and this guy mooned us..hahaha..then we just stayed on the 1st deck and danced..there were 3 decks..it was tight!! oh its too bad not all my friend could have gone..heheh and i made a mission for myself..i wanted to keep this guy and this girl apart cause theyre so gross together..so i danced with him the entire time and she kept trying to cut in..and i had him busy..haha..except not like that..and then so the girl was giving me mean looks on the bus when he sat next to me on the bus instead of her..hahaha..i wanted to sleep but i dont like them together so i was like yeah sure you can sit next to me! hehe she was being hecka loud and looking at us the entire ride back..hehehe..oh well..you win some you lose some...and i won! but its not like that..im pretty sure it was to keep me from gagging while i watched them freak like at senior box..heheh..no..im not evil at all..

BACCALAUREATE MASS:
the saddest mass with all my friends..my last one at school..it saddens me..i brought a fan cause i knew it was gonna be hella hot in there..hehehe..it was..and then we all got into mass and tiffy alter served and krystle ' them came..heheh thanks for coming guys! i appreciate you..thanks to frannie, al, bryan, rosemary, tiffany, krystle, antony, anh, and patrick..even though they told me you were tired..im glad you came..youre such a funny guy..when we all went outside we were all crying and stuff and i was like..i am gonna miss you guys..no matter how much i was like im not gonna miss my class..i am..i love them so much! you guys have shaped me into the person i am today..and im so grateful to have met you all..i cant believe we're all going away..i wish i didnt have to leave all of you guys..argh..i dont wanna go!

GRADUATION:
started out bad cause i was sick, then i thought i was gonna be late..but i wasnt..then we got there and people gave my leis and stuff..it was great..but cold..then we all went insed and stuff..then we went home and i got money..hehehe..not as much as i expected..but oh well..then what else..friends and family came over..we ate..and stuff..thats about it..hahah we got krystle and her foot to grass phobia..hahah..AGAIN!! we strike..oh my crappy little nephews were being such brats..eerr..sorry about that guys..they got me so mad i screamed stuff out in tagalog..well not really tagalog..just an expression..but yeah..they pissed me off..i was so embarassed..i was like..why oh why are you guys so ghetto..hahaha..can't blame them..YEAH YOU CAN!! eerr..theyre so ghetto..then my and krystle played a trick on antony and took his sunglasses and he almost cried cause he was so scared...ahahaha..fool.. hehe then krystle gave them back..it was funny..=)..but dude..never wear those ever again..they're so ugly..haha everyone said so..hehe..well..me and tiffany and christina and krystle..hahah which is everyone..hehehe okay well thats it..i love you all..thanks for coming..WOOHOO!! GO CLASS OF 2003! SUMMER VACATION!! YES SCORE IN YOUR FACE ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT STILL HAVE SCHOOL..