you swear like you're such a tourtured soul..

if you didnt think something was wrong when i came to you in tears & then lied about your reasons to my face..and you still didnt care if anything WAS wrong..then obviously something is wrong..with you..and if you still dont see that..then there is something wrong with me cause apparently i gave your ass too much credit as a friend..

enough said about stupid shit that doesnt matter to me anymore. ive decided that i love my friends. my new friends. this has been one of those weekends where you take the buddy list thats in your mind and weed it out. yenno. delete the assholes that you dont talk to or care about anymore. it was fun. to make it even better i went shopping...

this week was hard..tests up the wazoo. and lots of quizzes next week too. this weekend as we were driving to tracy my parents discussed with me my faorite topic, my future. we talked about where i would work..where i would take graduate school..how my current classes were doing so far. and overall..it was a delightful conversation. im looking forward to working. only 2.5 years left until the 'real world' begins. i feel bad for those not fully prepared for it. and i feel bad for those who think they are. i personally know that i am maybe half prepared. life on my own. what a concept. so far..hhmm..cooking..cleaning..laundry..working..i can do those..

okay krystle's dinner was HILARIOUS. i was having so much fun with my old buddies from high school. and we got cotillion pictures..it was fun fun fun. and on top of that there was good chinese food and yeah. so me and krys and tiff and rach got to hang out and eat dinner for krys' 18th birthday!! woot woot!! yeah. i love laughing with them. no one has my humor except those girls. our dark sarcastic remarks that sting. i love it. it was fun. wow. i miss being dark like that. at school i get to hang out with nice happy people and it gets overwhelming sometimes. but with tiff..who is my humor twin..and krys and rach..it comes out like crazy!!! USF is 4 letters??? there were so many funny moments...*sigh* love thos girls..

shopping..haha i talked shit about people with my parents..hahaha..it was fun. and we watched the garfield movie...its cute..i guess. =) my mommy likes it. haha we watched my two birds fight and one of them hide behind the table leg from the other..it was cute. then i watched my new fave show..desperate housewives.. hahaha its so funny:
okay i have to break the tension..so youre taking marriage counseling..so what..today i locked myself out of my house. stark naked. and bumped into carl. and he had to help me break in..
thats nothing..try getting kicked out of disneyland for lewd behavior...
well i can top that...one time carlos and i broke a waterbed in cancun. he has a fetish for spiked heels..
rex cries when he ejaculates..
HAHAHAHAHAHA..i was hekka laughing... =)

when it rains it pours..

the longest days are the days that you have everything to do. today was no exception to having a shitload of things to do. first of all when i woke up at 7:45 this morning. it was raining so much and it looked like a good day to keep myself in my nice warm bed. and today would have been a perfect day to skip out on micro cause i had a pathology midterm later on that day. but no. i had to pick up my test. which i was sure i failed and listen to lecture. so i got up and proceeded to change for class...

when it rains really hard, its pouring..

luckily as i walk outside..it rains harder..and just as i begin to regret my deciscion of getting out of ber i see kaite quesadilla walking to class. this was good. we could be bored together. so we're walking the mile to class and we're getting soaked. great. then we get to class to find like..7 other people..out of like 30 that should be there. so the whole like 11 of us that ended up showing up have to listen to the most boring 2 and a half hour lecture about microbial growth and wait to get our tests at the end. my test..SUCKED. i was like yay. a 38. thats a C. thats okay..but like..i found out it was out of 53!!!!!!! so therefore i got a 71%. how stupid am i? im such a loser. oh well. shoot me shoot me now...

in addition to that great test score: i have to go back to my room and actually study or pretend to. so since it was cold i made some chicken noodle soup and ate it and talked on the phone. and slept. then we all went to lunch. YES GREGORY LUNCH CAN AND DOES CONSIST OF FRIES AND A QUESADILLA. then off to glorious pathology to fail 2 tests in a day..wow.. so i take the test..not TOO bad..whatever..horrible..i did not study i deserve a bad grade..but at least i admit it. haha. like if i studied a lot id feel bad. but i dont study..so negative feelings about low scores are minimal. so yeah then katie and i go to the library and run away from a creepy man haha. then back for lecture and off to my room.

sometimes you have to let them crash and then help pick up the pieces...

in my room i again 'study' aka talk on the phone with greg. and then i call krystle to pick me up and we're off. fun class today. stress relief from all those stupid asses mt my school yea some of us are stupid asses. i know i get bad grades. but like..i know some people in other majors and stuff studying HELLA HARD...supposedly..and getting crap ass grades in like stupid classes. but then again like..its not my responsibility to worry about others grades.

so now im studying..not really..i had spaghetti for dinner..mmm..good..

OMG..as i try to study my wonderful roommate ashley is holding a concert in my room. shes playing every single song on her computer and singing and laughing and being a weirdo. the funny thing is we're both supposed to be studying..but i figure shes being distracting and im being distracted by loking at her. shes very distracting..HAHAH..she looks at me all funny and dances..hahah..whatta weirdo. we're listening to jimmy fallon..hahahaha..and shes singing and dancing..HAHAH she has the most RANDOM songs on her playlist...more later...

OMG..as i try to study my wonderful roommate ashley is holding a concert in my room. shes playing every single song on her computer and singing and laughing and being a weirdo. the funny thing is we're both supposed to be studying..but i figure shes being distracting and im being distracted by loking at her. shes very distracting..HAHAH..she looks at me all funny and dances..hahah..whatta weirdo. we're listening to jimmy fallon..hahahaha..and shes singing and dancing..HAHAH she has the most RANDOM songs on her playlist...more later...

john legend...used to love you....

Holla holla holla Holla holla holla
Maybe it's me, maybe I bore you.
But no no, it's my fault, Cuz I can't afford you
Maybe, baby, Puffy, Jay Z,
Would all be better for you.
Cuz all I can do is love you
Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you
Anything you asked me to…
But I'm tired of livin this lie
Its getting harder to justify
I realized, that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla holla holla (yeaah)
Holla holla holla (yeah yea yeah)
Maybe, I should, rob somebody
So we could live like, Whitney and Bobby.
It's probably my fault, my bad, my loss
That you are, above cost
All I can do is love you
Baby when I used to love you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you
Anything you asked me to…
But I'm tired of livin this lie
It's getting harder to justify
I realized, that I just don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla holla holla (yeaah)
Holla holla holla (yeah yea yeah)
Do you remember when I used to love you
(used to… love you)
Baby, no, not anymore (I don't… love you)
Oh…
I loved you (used to… love you)
And youre going to miss me now
Baby when I used to love you
Theres nothing that I wouldn't do
I went through the fire for you
But I'm not going to play the fool No I caint live this lie
And I caint justify
And I caint make you my wife
Cuz I don't love you
Not like I used to
Holla holla holla
Not like I used to
Holla holla holla
Not like I used to
Oh I used to… (do you remember when… I used to love you)
Love you
Used to… love you
Oh but I don't… (but baby I don't any more…)
Love you
I don't… love you
Oh I used to… (ooohh I loved you)
Love you
Used to… love you
Oh but I don't… ( I bet cha miss me now, cuz I loved you)
Love you
I don't… love you
Oh I used to… (you're gonna miss me now, cuz I used to love you)
Love you
Used to… love you
Oh but I don't… (I bet cha miss me now, cuz I don't… love you)
Love you
I don't… love you

nicole: hey i love it too
me: im listening to it right now...ITS SUCH A GOOD SONG
nicole: i know...i am in love with it!!!!
me: i can listen to it over and over..
nicole: hehe...nice pun
me: i didnt know i made it funny..HAHAHA
(im such a retard.)


Over And Over
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it
NoooI can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it's a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh
But I think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I Can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it
NoooI remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that u would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keep playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing my head
Over and over again
OhhI think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I Can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo
(Now that I've realizes that I'm going down
From all this pain you've put me through
Everytime I close my eyes I like it down
I can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo
Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it's all in my head

this weekend was fun..boat dance..woot..i fixed jen and apple's hair. it was fun. blah blah first date anniversary..so yeah greg came over and we all ate pizza and got ready. hhmm..but here's the whole weekend in a huge nutshell:
friday morning i woke up and went to jen and apple's room and we went shopping a little for something for them to wear to the boat dance that night. we went to like..3 stores i think..or maybe 2. then we ate lunch..which we thought was gonna be brunch. but it wasnt..very disappointing..thanks JEN!! then we ate and i went to my advising appointment. it was fun. i met my advisor. shes really nice. then i got all my clsses straightened out for next semester. then i went back to my room to destress. i danced a bit some warm ups and relaxed. cause i burned the jessica simpson CD. it was all good. and greg came in and wateched me destress more cause i was still dazed from seeing all my classes for next semester. thats okay though. but yeah. then we all got ready and ate pizza and i fixed their hair. then off to the dance. it was freezing. but it was okay cause we were having hella fun. the four of us..along with jeremy, seiha, and theier dates had a good time dancing and eating..even though it was CROWDED. haha but we found places..haha. then we all got off the boat and came back to sleep off the brownies and dancing meshed in that tiny tiny boat with 400 people.
saturday..hhmm..we did NOTHING.. we ate at chillis and watched TV..i dunno..we were sleeping for a long long long long time. it was so cold outside though. and rainy..so we didnt wanna do anything..well i didnt..i wanted to sleep more. but greg needed like an undershirt or something so we went to target but ended up going to marshalls right next to it..haha..then we saw thie kid get in trouble by his mom cause he was walking away and he walked back and his mom was scolding him in italian..and he walked back and hella threw this like tag plastic thingie at her..hahah..me and greg were standing right there..and we didnt know what to do. but i was laughing so hard..well..i wanted to..so i walked around and laughed. then we went back and yeah..ate at chilli's with the best waitress ever..then we came back and went into a food coma..haha eat and sleep..fun fun fun..then i talked to tepe
sunday..slept..ate at in-n-out..and picked up mo....love mo...love greg...then greg left again..sad sad sad..then went to nicoles to have FUN.. we're so funny..i LOVE NICOLE!!! we were talking about blind people and how me and her are not blind..haha..and how tina isnt either..and how we didnt know why we were the only ones who could see..hahah..something..random..now im studying..or pretending to..GO IAN!! aaww the other love of my life ian has a girlfriend..he doesnt know hes the other love of my life..but he will someday..=)..overall..great great weekend..too bad wont see greg next weekend..oh well..this weekend was fun enough for 2 weekends..have fun in LA love of my life...