sometimes i can be such a bitch..and im sorry and i do appreciate you..and i know it sounds stupid..but i love you..and all that you do for me..i dont know what i was thinking.. it'll never ever happen again..im so sorry it happened..i dont know what i'll do without you..no one can replace you..EVER...youre my link to sanity and my lifeline..no one could replace you..you know more about me than anyone else..you know me better than i know me..when i have problems youre there..when i feel sad you make sure that i am happy..you complete my nights conversations on the phone..youre the closest person to me thats not related to me..our relationship is so important to me..i would sacrifice anything in the world for it..i would give anything to turn back the clock so that i would think before i do stuff..if liking guys means sacrificing my friends..sacrificing my friendship with you..then its not for me..im a terrible person..and i dont deserve you..god knows we've put eachother through hell..but somehow we just keep being friends..i dont think id be the person..or even here for that matter..if it wasnt for our talks..our conversations..your advice.. im sorry i was stupid and wanted to turn away from you..im impulsive to a fault..and i didnt meant it.. you know i would never ever hurt you intentionally..i was mad that you could replace me..and i wasnt ready for it..i thought maybe i could replace you first..to make you think twice about replacing me..but i was wrong..i shouldnt have used him make you mad..i was doing it subconsciously and im sorry i hurt you..and im sorry it took this to figure out how much i love you and your friendship..youre the only one who can make me cry like that..hahaha..i cried so much my face hurt in the morning..then again today..just thinking about it..im sorry i ever thought i could replace you or that id want to abandon you..i was wrong and there is no excuse that could make this better and i know you say you forgive me..but i dont forgive me..i was mean and dont deserve to be forgiven..im gonna miss you when i go away..id trade anyone and anything for you..i hope this doesnt sound creepy..but i mean it..