save me

"to whomever is reading this: please, save me, because i dont know what to do. my life is so perfect, but i always seem to find fault with it. why is that? why do i constantly try to make myself unhappy when i am so happy now? why do choices arise right when im content and free and okay. why do i want to not be okay? why do i muddy up the water in my mind and in my life? why do i attempt the impossible? why do i make myself cry when i should be rejoicing? when will i learn to be happy? when will i know what i want? why do i need to be stable now? when can i have fun? have i ever had fun? why am i wrong? but what if i'm right? does that make it wrong? if i go away will i still be myself when i come back? will i ever come back? will i ever leave? save me, not from something, but from someone, myself, which in retrospect, i cannot really be saved from. " -it comes from inside me