sick

im making myself sick. but not on purpose. i cant eat, i walk around the house like nothing. but i have to stop. yesterday at work i had to leave because i pretty much threw up and fainted. my body hates my heart and my mind hates them both, so they're all at war!. when i got home i was hurting so bad. my head, my body, my stomach, my chest. im making myself sick. i dont feel like i should have a fever but i had one last night, i havent been sick in all the months ive been working. but i must say, mind over matter thing is crazy. my mind is hurting with my heart and i made yself sick. i made myself get a 102.3F fever because my heart is broken. i'm probably going to get kicked out of the NICU program anyways. i make stupid mistakes all the time because i can't concentrate. my life is ruined. again.