blah

some days are better than others. and today. was not better than others. i caved. i totally did. i totally called him..2 times..cause i was at a movie in sacramento. and i shouldnt have been there. just being 100 miles closer to him, yet just as far kills me. the drive home was excrutiating. it hurts so bad. i dont know what else i can say but i wish he loved me. i wish i was over this. i wish so many things. i wish he knew how much he means to me.