so lots of things have happened recently. i decided i miss high school..and my friends from like dance and stuff. but i dunno. i guess i hella dont fit in with them. its sad cause, whatever. but i guess i dunno. i dont know whether to be hurt or happy or whatever. but im not as good of a friend to them as i thought. which makes me really sad, cause at time i was so happy and fun with them that it made sense, life made sense. and dancing 4782390 hours a day made sense as life. but yeah. things change i guess. and with all the shit that been going down between everyone over high school and through now, maybe its better that they hate me or dont even wanna think about me ever.
but i dunno. ive been thinking. how much different would my life be if i had gone to SF state and done dance, or riverside, or who knows where to do dance? would i feel the way i do about life now? i dunno. questions to ponder. well first of all i wouldnt have met greg, and that in itself makes me wonder how great it would be, but id like to think that if we are or were meant to be we would have met regardless of what school or major i took on. but yea. i miss dance a whole lot, and im jealous of aamnda and clairfe and elizabeth and kristin cause they get to dance. but obviously i wasnt good enough. ahahaha. whatever. i think i was okay, actually i think i was good, considering the whole..i've only danced for 2 years. hahaha. but a lot happens in 2 years. like its been 2 years since ive taken a formal dance class. and boy does it suck. i guess ive changed in 2 years. but they all seem to have stayed the same, with eachother. i dunno if i want that. but ovbiously they didnt want me.
why the fuck am i kicking myself down for not being able tohave been good enough to be their friend? i cant believe it. with all the crap that happened? all the shit they STILL talk? rumors and rumors. whatever.
im very...fickle about this topic. cause im so happy where i am. i really am. and i know im in a better place now, cause no drama from stupid shit..oh wait..there is..
but anyways..so this goes out to amanda claire and elizabeth. it was fun guys. ive drifted away as you guys have drifted/ran/hid from me. i dont blame you. but we're all different people, and id like to think that ifi ever saw you guys at the mall we'd be nice and say hi. but maybe im not even good enough for that. oh well. have fun you dance majors you. good luck to you guys i really mean it. cause you guys were good. but as an end note, id just like to say. if i had really had you guyses parents, i would be a dance major too. and if i had your families and had been brought up like you had, i would be a dance major too, because i could have, and i was good enough too. i deserve at least that much. but..COULDA WOULDA SHOULDA.
on to more pertinent things than my wounded pride and bruised ego for not being cool enough to be your friends still:
so yeah. drama still. its great. everyone get over yourselves. you really arent that important to all that many people. =)*sigh* oh how the mighty have fallen. HAHAHA. BIATCH...
but i dunno. ive been thinking. how much different would my life be if i had gone to SF state and done dance, or riverside, or who knows where to do dance? would i feel the way i do about life now? i dunno. questions to ponder. well first of all i wouldnt have met greg, and that in itself makes me wonder how great it would be, but id like to think that if we are or were meant to be we would have met regardless of what school or major i took on. but yea. i miss dance a whole lot, and im jealous of aamnda and clairfe and elizabeth and kristin cause they get to dance. but obviously i wasnt good enough. ahahaha. whatever. i think i was okay, actually i think i was good, considering the whole..i've only danced for 2 years. hahaha. but a lot happens in 2 years. like its been 2 years since ive taken a formal dance class. and boy does it suck. i guess ive changed in 2 years. but they all seem to have stayed the same, with eachother. i dunno if i want that. but ovbiously they didnt want me.
why the fuck am i kicking myself down for not being able tohave been good enough to be their friend? i cant believe it. with all the crap that happened? all the shit they STILL talk? rumors and rumors. whatever.
im very...fickle about this topic. cause im so happy where i am. i really am. and i know im in a better place now, cause no drama from stupid shit..oh wait..there is..
but anyways..so this goes out to amanda claire and elizabeth. it was fun guys. ive drifted away as you guys have drifted/ran/hid from me. i dont blame you. but we're all different people, and id like to think that ifi ever saw you guys at the mall we'd be nice and say hi. but maybe im not even good enough for that. oh well. have fun you dance majors you. good luck to you guys i really mean it. cause you guys were good. but as an end note, id just like to say. if i had really had you guyses parents, i would be a dance major too. and if i had your families and had been brought up like you had, i would be a dance major too, because i could have, and i was good enough too. i deserve at least that much. but..COULDA WOULDA SHOULDA.
on to more pertinent things than my wounded pride and bruised ego for not being cool enough to be your friends still:
so yeah. drama still. its great. everyone get over yourselves. you really arent that important to all that many people. =)*sigh* oh how the mighty have fallen. HAHAHA. BIATCH...
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