have you ever...

have you ever felt lost or disappointed. where youve worked so hard to achieve something, only to have it go to comlete waste? so muc hard work, practically 2 years of sweat, sacrifice, tears, and hours and hours of trying, something so new to you that you didnt know how to go about it? and then,your goal, was so within reach, right there, being given to you, handed to you practically, because of the hard work you did. and now its an impossibility. i hate being filipino. i hate being some demure racethat just sits there and listents to their elders. i feel bad for people who have it worse than me. my parents are really controlling, but i know others have it worse. but it sucks cause some people just like being that way, and they have no aspirations except those of their parents. but i do. i want more. i have done more. but i have to lie to hide it. i have the drive and the determination to do it, and on top of that, on top of achieving my goals that i have set, ive achieved my parents goals for me. and that still isnt enough. its never enough. nothing i ever do is good enough for them. ive tried so hard. but something ive worked so hard for on my own without anyone's support, i made it. i did it. all on my own. and because it was all on my own, because i was all by myself, i cant even get what i worked so hard for. i gave up so much for it. screw my life, all of it, to hell...