dude okay..today i got in hecka trouble..but it was hecka random..i was sitting at the table eating waffles and stuff when i asked my mom whether i could go play in the park with tiffany on monday..and she spazzed out and hecka started yelling at me! YOU HAVE TO STUDY YOURE FAILING ANATOMY..okay so having a D in anatomy is a valid reason to get mad at me..but she just started yelling at me and i was like fine..so i ran into my room..like 3 staps away..and she followed me and was like youre not going anywhere next week youre staying home and cleaning. i was like hello vacation! i hella do nothing but work hard in school. i study and i did was i was supposed to do in high school. i got into a good university..i got a scholarship..and whatever..i'm doing pretty damn well. and my mom is completely screaming at me for trying my hardest. i get decent grades and i dont get in trouble im a freakin angel compared to other people in my school. and its like hello what more do you want! im so tired of it..i swear im about to just give up..i cant give anymore. i have nothing left! i have nothing to support me! my parents get mad at me if i cant do well in school..but when i fail they say its okay because they know i wouldnt have been able to suceed anyways. they set me up for failure. like college..they want me to try hard in school especially anatomy but yet they dont think i can do it.. they say you should still apply at cal state because i dont think you can do it! what the hell is that! she swears like that doesnt hurt. eerr i was so mad i was like crying..she was like you dont deserve to go to a good university youre grades are so low blah blah..okay why dont you just oush my hand across my throat with a knife..gosh i hate it! what have i done..dont they understand school is hard? so yeah..my parents swear that this isnt my SENIOR YEAR!! and that its 4TH QUARTER!! but yeah..so im crying and im blawling and my mom closes my door and shes like youre not going anywhere youre gonna study..so im really ticked off and im like why dont i just kill myself! argh! so my mom comes back in and is like what? and i said nothing get out i need to study..so she leaves and im crying..and im thinking about school cause i have to..and i look back at all my hard work..and i dont care..i really dont care..i have really nothing going for me..i basically have my life planned out even though i dont want to do what i have to do..be a nurse..thats the only i was able to ene think of pursuing..cause hey im not smart enough to be an engineer..even though my dad thinks i am..i hate computers...and so the only thing is a nurse. obviously..what if i dont want to? this is the only thing youve been preparing me for and im gonna hate it..thanks a lot for basically making my life a living spiral of dispair..