i dont know what i would do if you did anything horrible. i'm already so heartbroken, but i know i can't expect you to be an angel after what i did. but i'd literally die. really. im so scared for what ive done. but at the same time, i needed to do it. i felt taken foregranted. i hate that feeling. i'm so full of pride that i'd punish myself if it'd punish you. it hurts me but i hope it hurts you more. but i know your weekend will present you with opportunities that will kill me, and you may or may not take them, but you may or may not tell me, so what does it matter? i dont know anymore.i did what i had to do. God, help me, i don't know what to do.
how could you go out and know how much ive been hurting. fucking heart of stone. you kill me. everything you do kills me.