Okay so heres what up with me..my computer is on the fritz..so sometimes im on..sometimes im not..my cell doesnt work..so don’t bother trying..and yeah..so sometimes I get iMs..sometimes I dont..and yeah..but just leave a message on my dorm phone so I can call you back..cause I miss everyone so much..I love my new friends here..but you cant replace great friends at home..like tiffany, christina, nicole, krystle, mandy, claire, and everyone who I didnt mention..you know that I love you all..it doesnt matter..all the shit..cause thats over..and it hurts..but like..lets get over it..cause life goes on..okay and yeah.
I try and go home on the weekends..but I have so many tests and I work and everything is crappy..and crying and I miss you guys so much it hurts..life here is fun..last week I was sssoo sick..I wasnt eating anything for a week..and I was throwing what I ate up..and like..I was so dizzy all the time and I was seeing spots and bubbles and like..sleeping ALL the time..and I wasnt even able to pay attention in class and I was like..aahh..im sick..and like..I get 14 meals a week..but like..by Sunday I had like..11 left.. Thats bad..I did not eat anything..everything left like acid t my stomach..I swore I was dying..I couldnt like see when I stood up..and yeah..so eventually I forced myself to eat and not throw up..so now im eating..but I feel like throwing up all the time..and like..before I was like dying..I couldnt even make any jokes cause I was so depressed..I missed everyone and I left like eeryone was mad at me cause I cant ever call..and like it made me cry a lot..and it hurts guys..it does..a lot..and I cry all the time cause I feel like everyone hates me back home..and like..I felt like my heart was breaking cause I missed everyone so much..it was like I was empty inside and I couldnt do anything about it cause the people that I love werent there for me because they thought I was being mean..do you know how much that affects me..or anyone..whos away from home and alone and hardly knows anyone..I felt like my heart was scooped out and like..thrown away..I felt empty..and I talked to my friend shayne about it cause shes from hawaii and shes far from home..and I was like..is this how you feel shayne? Like youre dying and empty? And she was like yeah..thats how it feels..like your heart is breaking because everything you love is so far away and cant come to comfort you..and I was trying to call everyone but I couldnt..and I just ended up crying to christina..and I cried..I was frikkin hysterical..and I felt like why..why is this like this..I felt so lonely..and no one ever goes to visit me..not that anyone would..but yeah..thanks guys..and I think thats what made me so sick..I was so homesick that I didnt eat and I didnt feel good..and I was so malnourished..I lost like..4 pounds in a week because I wasnt eatiing..because I was dying inside and sad..I called my dad and he wanted to take me to the emergency room because I was showing really bad symptoms..I was practically crying cause I wanted to go home so bad..but I knew it was just my broken heart telling me how much I missed everyone..every picture of my friends and I in my room reminds me how much I am losing..and how much I need good friends to help me through college..and so my mom called the doctor..and now im off of my medicine..because the side effects are really bad..so now im off of it..and I feel better..kinda..
Okay..boat dance..was FUN..I went with my new found friend greg..I mean gary..HE WAS 1 AND A HALF HOURS LATE!! Loser..but I had fun..I didnt fix my hair..it was down..and I wore a black tube top dress that had silver studs..and I had slippers with heels and rhinestones and stuff..and I wore hoop earrings..so I looked cool..haha..I guess..and I won 2nd place in the battle of the booty contest..haha..wil-dog won first..he’s great..gotta love that guy..and we all slept in wilson’s room..like..6 girls to like..3 guys..hahaha..and we played jenga..haha..truth or dare jenga..it was stupid though..hahaha..then yeah..we didnt get to sleep cause on of our friends was snoring..oh I forgot..everyone here calls me teeny..cause I made them..haha..yeah..so gary likes me..I guess..I personally think everyone is lying..hahaha..but yeah..thats it..for now..I hope this was okay for everyone to read..it was fun to write..I love you guys..
I try and go home on the weekends..but I have so many tests and I work and everything is crappy..and crying and I miss you guys so much it hurts..life here is fun..last week I was sssoo sick..I wasnt eating anything for a week..and I was throwing what I ate up..and like..I was so dizzy all the time and I was seeing spots and bubbles and like..sleeping ALL the time..and I wasnt even able to pay attention in class and I was like..aahh..im sick..and like..I get 14 meals a week..but like..by Sunday I had like..11 left.. Thats bad..I did not eat anything..everything left like acid t my stomach..I swore I was dying..I couldnt like see when I stood up..and yeah..so eventually I forced myself to eat and not throw up..so now im eating..but I feel like throwing up all the time..and like..before I was like dying..I couldnt even make any jokes cause I was so depressed..I missed everyone and I left like eeryone was mad at me cause I cant ever call..and like it made me cry a lot..and it hurts guys..it does..a lot..and I cry all the time cause I feel like everyone hates me back home..and like..I felt like my heart was breaking cause I missed everyone so much..it was like I was empty inside and I couldnt do anything about it cause the people that I love werent there for me because they thought I was being mean..do you know how much that affects me..or anyone..whos away from home and alone and hardly knows anyone..I felt like my heart was scooped out and like..thrown away..I felt empty..and I talked to my friend shayne about it cause shes from hawaii and shes far from home..and I was like..is this how you feel shayne? Like youre dying and empty? And she was like yeah..thats how it feels..like your heart is breaking because everything you love is so far away and cant come to comfort you..and I was trying to call everyone but I couldnt..and I just ended up crying to christina..and I cried..I was frikkin hysterical..and I felt like why..why is this like this..I felt so lonely..and no one ever goes to visit me..not that anyone would..but yeah..thanks guys..and I think thats what made me so sick..I was so homesick that I didnt eat and I didnt feel good..and I was so malnourished..I lost like..4 pounds in a week because I wasnt eatiing..because I was dying inside and sad..I called my dad and he wanted to take me to the emergency room because I was showing really bad symptoms..I was practically crying cause I wanted to go home so bad..but I knew it was just my broken heart telling me how much I missed everyone..every picture of my friends and I in my room reminds me how much I am losing..and how much I need good friends to help me through college..and so my mom called the doctor..and now im off of my medicine..because the side effects are really bad..so now im off of it..and I feel better..kinda..
Okay..boat dance..was FUN..I went with my new found friend greg..I mean gary..HE WAS 1 AND A HALF HOURS LATE!! Loser..but I had fun..I didnt fix my hair..it was down..and I wore a black tube top dress that had silver studs..and I had slippers with heels and rhinestones and stuff..and I wore hoop earrings..so I looked cool..haha..I guess..and I won 2nd place in the battle of the booty contest..haha..wil-dog won first..he’s great..gotta love that guy..and we all slept in wilson’s room..like..6 girls to like..3 guys..hahaha..and we played jenga..haha..truth or dare jenga..it was stupid though..hahaha..then yeah..we didnt get to sleep cause on of our friends was snoring..oh I forgot..everyone here calls me teeny..cause I made them..haha..yeah..so gary likes me..I guess..I personally think everyone is lying..hahaha..but yeah..thats it..for now..I hope this was okay for everyone to read..it was fun to write..I love you guys..
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