its one of those

you can't quite put your finger on it. its that feeling...doom is what books call it. that taste in your mouth that you cant get out, no matter how many apple juices you drink. its that feeling in the pit of your very soul, when you stand on that edge of that cliff in your mind, overlooking that huge void you've always meant to fill in with something, but you've always been too busy or distracted to do anything about it. and now you're there. what do you do?
you sit and listent to some sad songs and wait for that feeling..impending doom..to wash over you and let the tears fall, yenno?
well im at that point, a cross roads if you will. and i dont know a think to do about it. i think i just did one thing, but deep inside, i think it was nothing cause it'll get better in like..3 days ro something, and some part of you wants it to be like that, and some part thinks its time, and some part of you wants to bash that part in with a crow bar.
i guess im at that age. but its not fair, im so young. why do i have to choose my life now? now of all times, when the world is just opening up to me, why do i need to care about anything else but turning 21. instead i have this...rock..whats the story about the guy pushing that huge boulder up the hill over and over again? i feel like that too, like everything i do is futile because it will always come rolling back down the damn hill right back to where i started...
i need a vacation...i need some idrection that i havent taken already...save me..again..