today...

woke up this morning and my left eye hurt. a lot. it hurt yesterday too...but today i hurt even more. i think i have pink eye. im actually pretty sure that i have pink eye. great. how in the world did i get pink eye. i have no idea. but it hurts. and im itchy..all over..prolly cause of the heat. im like itchy..and parts are bumpy and red and raw from itching. its a sad sad sad thing. hahah oh well..hopefully it'll get better once i start not being sweaty...
went to church..but before that i ate corn cause my parents went to the farmers market..a also ate nectarines..mmm..good. then we went to church and we had in-n-out afterwards. my eye was still swollen and hurt. did i already ask where in the heck did i get pink eye? cause i still dont know.

i got this picture from steve the other day. makes me sad. i dont know. i call but i dont want to talk but i dont want to call cause i want him to, but i want him to not call i dont know. this is stupid...sometimes we're happy sometomes we're sad. sometimes he gets me and sometimes he doesnt give a damn about me. and sometimes he thinks i being irration and does what makes me upset anyways. and sometimes he thinks it'll be better later, which it usually is, but he screwed it up first, so i should have the power to say no. i hate you. i need time. i dont want to see you. but..its hard. cause i only see him once in awhile. but sometimes i think of every horrible thing he's ever told me..ever done..ever said to me and i hate life and i hate hime. but i shouldnt do that should i. but there are some things that i never get mad about..that i was just disturbed about..and i never said anything..and it sucks..cause its hard to tell him, cause its bringing up the past, but he told me..how he told me..is what kills me. and hes a sick sorry disgusting bastard who doesnt even deserve the love of me. he doesnt ewven like filipino girls..i hate losing all the time. i hate stupid sluts. god i hate sluts. this picture sjut makes me sad, not wish that he was here...of all the terrible things ove done in my life..this at times feels like the worst one...

i finished my religion paper. had to cut it down, but its totally random and disorganized. hahaha. tomorrow krystle and i or maybe just me will be going to the library to research hinduism..love it..love homework in the summer...